Old Pals

Now Albert had always a musical bent
Whilst Jack was a bit of a fighter
and when Albert, playin' t' piano at t' pub,
   Took th' applause for his skills
Jack just sat there and supped and got tighter

Well Albert and Jack were very good chums
They played footie and darts and went bowlin'
And when t' war came, all of a sudden like
They lost touch as t' bombs started fallin'

Now Albert he were called into t'Navy
And sailed all round t' world in a boat
Sometimes he got seasick and fell overboard
And although he couldn't swim - he could float

Jack went into th'Army and soon got a rank
But he never got no airs and graces
His rank it were 'private' and probably due
To his tunic wore under his braces

As a lad Bert were alus quite short for his height
And now as a man he seemed smaller
And Jack he were t' same alus tall for 'is height
But now as a man 'e were taller

When t' conflict were over and Hitler were beat
And twenty years more had gone by
Jack were waitin' for t' bus 'ome one Wednesday night
When Albert 'e happened to spy

"Well I'll be jiggered" Jack shouted to Bert
As Albert ran over to greet him
"'Ee 'ow you've changed" said Albert to Jack
And 'ow he were so pleased to meet him

"What you doin' now"? said Jack - interested like
"Well I'll bet you're married an' all"
"Aye I am" answered Bert "to a nice bit o' skirt
And we've three kids  George-Ringo-and Paul" !

"And all of 'em interested in music like me
They play t'mouth-organ, guitar and t'drums
We'll come round to your 'ouse next Wednesday neet
We can all have a sing and be chums"

Well Jack wern't best pleased though he didn't say
for wi' music he hadn't much truck
So he just bit his lip and said "Aye that sounds grand
We'll see thee next Wednesday with luck" !

"How about thee Jack"? Albert enquired
"Did tha' marry that big lass called Sally"?
"Aye I did Bert", said Jack, "and we've three kids an' all
Called  Patterson,  Bruno  and  Ali"

"And all of 'em interested in boxing like me"
And for t'punch line his tongue were abidin'
"We'll come round to your 'ouse next Tuesday neet
And we'll give thee a bloody good hidin'" !!