Black Puddins

Now Sam 'ad a passion for black puddin's
Munchin' 'em near every day
He'd munch one wi' 'is cornflakes and one 'wi 'is lunch
And two more at four wi' 'is tay

Just imagine 'is grief and frustration
When 'e read in th' Express of th'intent
Of th' European Economic Community
To ban 'em from sale  ' t' story went !

'E decided as 'ow it wern't proper
That these men in striped suits and black shoes
Could tell 'im what to eat for 'is breakfast
So 'ee'd fight 'em -  'ee'd nothin' to loose  !

'E wrote to 'is member of parliament
And 'e waited but got no reply
So 'e took 'imself off to London
And 'e wore is best suit and a tie

Sam walked past t' policeman at t' commons
Who just nodded at Sam in a trance
T' bobby thought 'e were t' member for Rochdale
they looked so much alike at first glance

Sam walked and 'e walked turning left and then right
For an hour or possibly more
Whereupon 'earin' a rowdy commotion
'E stopped and pushed open a door

Sam strolled into t' chamber amid all the noise
And sat down on a green leather seat
T' commotion got louder and louder
As t' prime minister got to 'is feet

'The state of th' economy's nowt like as bad
As them opposite's wishin' to make it
And if t' member for Finchley shouts resign one more time
'Er advice well - I think I might take it' !

Sam 'ad soon 'ad enough o' these rantins
And th' arguments goin' round and around
So 'e got to 'is feet and 'e started to speak
But t' speaker told Sam to sit down

'The blood and the guts of this once proud great nation
Are under attack  - if you'll pardon the pun
From those foreigners sproutin' in Brussels' - Sam said
'And I'll not sit me down 'til I've done !!

They're threat'nin' to cut-off mi' puddin's
Or at least they're wantin' 'em banned
But I can't safeguard t'puddin's all on mi own
I'll need you lot to give me an 'and'

The honourable member for Aylesbury
Stood up and took rupturous applause
Showing 'is support to the 'ouse as 'e spoke-up
For Sam's most commendable cause

One by one they all gave their opinions
Each one of them speaking in turn
And the general consensus of opinion were
That there'd been a general lack of concern

So t' P.M. thanked Sam an' 'e promised as 'ow
'Ee'd soon set things straight wi' th' E. C.
And 'eed tell all those Frenchies in Brussels
To black puddin's they'd better say -  oui !!

So Sam bid farewell to London
and t' P.M. said ' now Sam don't thee fret
and next time you're down 'ere bob in for a cuppa'
Sam said as 'e wouldn't forget

'And will there be black puddin's still for tea' ? questioned Sam
 Givin' t'prime minister a smile at the door
'There certainly will be' said t' P.M. wi' a grin
'There'll be black puddin's for evermore'  !!