Now young Sam were a bit of an angler
It were said of quite some renown
'Cos 'e once catched a salmon in th' Irwell
Although it wern't pink - it were brown !


As a lad 'e were quite a scholar
Seemin' to stand out from the rest
But 'is consumin' passion were fishin'
And watchin' while t' brids built their nest


I 'eard as 'ow one day whilst fishin'
In t' Lune or somewhere like that
'E were castin a booby at t' fishes
When 'is 'ook caught in t' vicar's wife's 'at


'Oo were standin' on t' bridge when it 'appened
And 'er face turned from off-white to peach
And th' affair caused so-much commotion
As t' bobby were called into t' breach


Now Sam 'ad a fair sense of humour
And 'e felt like 'is 'eart were on wings
As 'e 'eld back a chuckle and calm- like 'e said
As ow it were 'just one 'o them things'


Well t' vicars wife Mabel were gettin' fair vexed
At th'ook still caught-up in 'er 'at
And she tugged and she pulled and
   She pulled and she tugged
Saying well-well, tut-tut, and that's that !

Then Mabel finally plucked-up 'er courage
And found 'er voice-like at last
Saying 'compensation 'as got to be paid'
But young Sam 'e just smiled and stood fast


Now t' bobby thought 'e were King Solomon
'Cos wisdom of 'is judgement were neat
'E said 'appen this lad 'll gi' thee a salmon
And young Sam 'e said 'aye -well alreet'

Well Sam, when they'd gone, were real pleased wi' 'is sel'
So pleased as 'e couldn't 'elp shout
'Cos it weren't a salmon as 'eed giv' 'er
It were no'but a common brown trout !